What to Do When You’ve Been Catfished: Full Recovery Guide

You’ve met someone amazing online: gorgeous, hilarious, into all the same things you are. The chemistry is instant, the conversations electric. You’re convinced you’ve found someone special.

But then the red flags start. They won’t video chat. “Camera’s broken”, they say. They want to meet, but need money to travel. You send it. Something comes up. They need more. You send gift cards. Still no meetup. Still more excuses. And now, you’re out thousands of dollars.

You haven’t found love. You’ve been catfished. What do you do next?

Catfishing is a deeply manipulative cybercrime that preys on trust, often with the goal of financial gain. It’s when someone uses a fake identity to trick you into believing you’re in a real online friendship or romance with them.

Scammers may pose as a romantic interest to con you out of money, gifts, or personal favors, also known as a romance scam. Others take it even further, coaxing you into sharing intimate content and then threatening to expose it, a form of online blackmail known as sextortion.

And sometimes, it’s not even about money. Some people catfish just for the thrill, or out of sheer boredom.

What should you do if you’ve been catfished? Let’s explore the roots of this crime and how to protect yourself if you’ve been a victim.

Emotional Fallout: Acknowledging the Betrayal

Catfishing can feel like a profound betrayal, leaving you overwhelmed with shame, confusion, or self-doubt. But it’s important to remember that these scams are designed to be convincing. Anyone can fall for them. Give yourself grace, validate your feelings, and practice self-compassion. This wasn’t your fault.

After being catfished, you may experience emotional distress in the form of anxiety, depression, or trouble sleeping. You may replay conversations, question your judgment, or isolate yourself out of embarrassment or shame. These are all valid responses. Recognizing them is the first step toward healing.

Common Catfishing Scenarios: From Romance to Financial Scams

Here are some of the more common types of catfishing:

Romantic deception: The scammer creates a fake, more attractive persona to capture your interest and build emotional trust.
Financial fraud: They manipulate you into sending money, gifts, or favors under false pretenses, typically done as part of a romance scam.
Identity theft: They gather personal information and use it to impersonate you or commit fraud.
Sextortion: They pressure or deceive you into sharing intimate content, then threaten to leak it unless you pay or comply with their demands.

Most of these scams unfold over weeks or months, slowly building trust to make the deception more convincing. In contrast, sextortion scams typically escalate quickly, often immediately after you’ve shared intimate content.

Signs of Catfishing

Here are some signs you’re being catfished:

Reluctance to video chat or meet in person.
Inconsistent or vague information.
Overly flattering or idealized behavior, also known as love bombing.
Requests for money or gifts.
Newly created social media with few connections.
Photos that seem almost too perfect.

To see if a profile photo has been stolen and used elsewhere online, do a reverse image search:

Go to Google Images.
Click the camera icon.
Upload the image.
Review the results.

Taking Inventory: Documenting the Deception

If you’ve been catfished, it’s crucial to save all evidence of communication and profile details. Take screenshots of conversations, profile names and images, and any payments, along with timestamps. This metadata creates a vital digital footprint that can help document the crime and support any investigations.

Document all financial transactions, including dates, amounts, and methods. To trace a money transfer, contact your bank or the service used (like PayPal or Western Union). They may be able to provide details on the wire transfer.

If you have shared intimate content with the catfish, you can do a reverse image search to see if it has spread elsewhere.

The Road to Recovery: Reporting and Seeking Help

It’s important to report catfishing to the proper authorities, even if you feel embarrassed. You’re not alone, and your voice matters. Catfishing is a serious crime with real emotional and financial consequences. By reporting it, you help create a paper trail that can aid in tracking down and prosecuting scammers, ultimately protecting others from becoming victims too.

You can report the catfishing scam to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) at www.reportfraud.ftc.gov. Follow the prompts and include as much information as possible.

You should also report the crime to the FBI under the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), the FBI’s central hub for reporting cybercrimes. You can file a report at www.ic3.gov.

It’s also important to report the scam to the administrators of the social media or dating site where you first encountered the fraudster. They can investigate and likely take steps to suspend the crook’s account. Site administrators have a responsibility to remove catfish and protect their communities from fraud.

If you are not being sextorted and you have not shared sensitive content, it’s a good idea to block the catfish and cease all communication. You can block them by reporting and blocking them on a social media channel, a dating app, with your email provider, or your phone company.

If you are being sextorted or blackmailed, never block the scammer. They might expose your content. See below.

What to Do If You’ve Been Sextorted by a Catfish

If you’re a victim of sextortion, you need to act fast to prevent exposure and protect your digital reputation. Take the following steps:

Do not pay: Payment doesn’t prevent exposure. It inevitably leads to demands for more payment.
Do not engage: Don’t communicate with the fraudster. It will only escalate the situation.
Do not block: This can lead to a retaliatory leak of your content.
Stall for time: Tell the blackmailer you need more time to get money together. This buys you time to get help.

Seeking Support: Emotional and Legal Resources

Experiencing a catfishing scam can be emotionally challenging, but connecting with support groups and counseling services can aid in healing and recovery. Here are some resources that may help:

Turn2Me: a national mental health charity offering a free, confidential online support group specifically for victims of catfishing. The group provides a safe space to share experiences and receive guidance from professional counselors. They also offer up to six free counseling sessions for adults residing in Ireland. For more information or to join the support group, visit www.turn2me.ie.
Catfish Victim Support: a dedicated platform aimed at assisting individuals who suspect or have discovered they are victims of catfishing. The website offers resources, personal stories, and a community to connect with others who have faced similar experiences. Learn more at www.catfishvictimsupport.com.
Cybersmile Foundation provides guidance on understanding catfishing, how to avoid it, and steps to take if targeted. While not a support group, their resources can be informative and helpful for those seeking information on the topic. Visit www.cybersmile.org.

You can also contact a therapist who specializes in helping catfish victims. Utilize online therapy platforms like BetterHelp or Talkspace and filter by areas of expertise, such as trauma, relationship issues, or emotional abuse. When you speak with a therapist, ask if they have experience counseling catfish victims.

Digital Investigation Inc: Your Partner in Finding Answers

At Digital Investigation Inc., our cyber professionals can utilize digital forensics and social media analysis to track and reveal the true identity of your catfish. We use digital tracing to locate their exact IP address, identify their devices, and connect their person ID to the crime.

We can trace financial transactions, identify fraudulent accounts, and may even be able to get your money back.

If you’ve fallen victim to sextortion, we can leverage their revealed identity to persuade them to end the scheme and stop contacting you. If your content has been exposed, we can use advanced monitoring techniques to locate its existence on the Internet and have it removed. We’ll continue to monitor your profile to ensure it never surfaces again.

Contact Digital Investigation Inc. for a free consultation.

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