Romance Scam Warning: Spot the Signs Before It’s Too Late

Online dating is a lot of things. It’s convenient, flexible, mentally exhausting but most important of all, it’s here to stay. The reality is dating platforms allow us to connect to thousands of potential partners. However, they also open the door for us to connect with scammers who use our desire for romance against us. This is known as a romance scam.

A romance scam is when someone uses a false online persona to lure a victim into a romantic relationship. After building trust and intimacy with the victim, the scammer then exploits them for financial gain. Romance scams can be devastating to the victims, leaving their finances and emotional state in a terrible place. Victims have lost thousands of dollars to these cybercriminals and it happens a lot more often than you think. However, spreading awareness about the scam is the best way to decrease its effectiveness.

Understanding the Psychology of Romance Scams

Perpetrators of online dating scams are sophisticated and use catfishing profiles or fake online personas to commit their schemes. Dating platforms make long-distance relationships more accessible and cybercriminals hide behind this to maintain their anonymity. Scammers may pose as someone with travel limitations like an oil rig worker or a member of the military to avoid any face-to-face meetings. Here are more common tactics used to build trust in romance scams.

Love bombing. Scammers will shower you with compliments and provide constant affection. The constant positive attention creates an emotional attachment.
Creating a sense of urgency. Months or weeks after they build a romantic relationship, the perpetrator will then create urgent expenses or emergency situations in which they request money from the victim.
Attractive fake profile. Using catfishing personas and deceptive images, scammers use attractive fake identities to draw in their victims.
Fake intimacy. Perpetrators of online fraud tend to share fake vulnerable moments with the victim to portray a sense of closeness or built trust.
False promises. As a relationship progresses, it’s natural to want to meet. However, a scammer will always create excuses to avoid any face-to-face meeting while providing constant false promises to avoid suspicion.

Red Flags: Identifying the Signs of a Romance Scam

When it comes to online safety, you need to know the red flags for romance scams. Scammers with deceptive motivations will be inconsistent in their behavior. A common red flag is that the perpetrators will attempt to advance a relationship quickly in a disingenuous way. We have ten more red flags that you should look out for in an online dating scam. These red flags for romance scams do not necessarily mean that you are dealing with dating fraud. However, they should be noted.

Mirroring interests. The cybercriminal will mirror your interests, values, and desires to build an artificial connection.
Inconsistent stories or profiles. Scammers create a catfishing profile and a backstory to go with it. However, there are typically inconsistencies in the story they created.
Refusal to video chat or meet in person. They make promises to meet face-to-face while also creating constant excuses.
Requests for money for emergencies or travel. One of the biggest red flags for dating fraud is any request for money. It’s best to avoid sending money while dating a stranger.
Poor grammar or spelling. English is not the first language for many scammers. They tend to make similar mistakes in messaging with grammar, spelling, or slang usage.
“Too good to be true” profiles. Many catfishing profiles portray highly successful and attractive personas like celebrities. These can be a red flag to watch out for.
Claims of being in a remote or dangerous location. A common excuse to avoid meeting face-to-face is that doing so would put them in danger or their internet connection is not good enough.
Requests for money via gift cards or wire transfers. Gift cards and wire transfers are difficult to track and commonly used by romance scammers.
Pressuring you to move the conversation off of the dating site. Many dating platforms have reporting systems or community standards against scam-like practices or sharing intimate media. Cybercriminals may direct the conversation off a dating site and onto a messaging platform that has more privacy.
Asking for personal information too quickly. Both romantic parties are typically cautious in online relationships. Rapidly asking for personal information or sharing their own is a clear red flag for romance scams.

The Financial Exploitation: How Scammers Take Your Money

Most of the time perpetrators of online dating scams only want financial compensation and will extract as much money from you as they can. Bringing up sudden expenses, financial troubles, or emergency scenarios are common methods of scammers extracting money. If the victim has any hesitancy to send money after the perpetrator requests it, the cybercriminal commonly uses guilt-tripping to manipulate the victim with claims like “I need help with a delivery” or “Someone close to me is sick”(1). They may also pose as a successful person or public figure and request money for a one-time expense, promising to pay the victim back very shortly. Unfortunately, financial losses are very rarely recovered which is why it’s important to be extremely vigilant of dating fraud in the digital era.

A 53-year-old woman, for example, fell victim to a Brad Pitt catfisher on Instagram. The scammer used affectionate language to build a relationship with the victim and when the catfishing profile requested money for an emergency medical procedure, the woman was convinced. The impersonator used AI-generated images of Brad Pitt in the hospital to trick the victim and the woman ended up losing over eight hundred thousand dollars before she realized she had been scammed(2).

Leading To Extortion

A romance scam may involve exchanging explicit images as the relationship progresses. The scammer may not do anything with the content immediately. However, if you refuse to send them money at their request or run out of money, the extortion can begin.
Sextortion is a form of extortion in which someone threatens to expose a victim’s explicit images or videos unless they are financially compensated. Romance scams commonly lead to extortion because of the nature of the relationship. Both scams are devastating to experience and can lead to feeling extremely hopeless.

Protecting Yourself: Online Safety Tips

Taking preventative measures is key to protect yourself from dating fraud. There are tools, technologies, and best practices that will minimize the likelihood of even encountering a scammer online. However, the most important advice is to always put your online safety over any romantic venture. Here are some tips to protect yourself against dating fraud.

Recommend reverse image searches to verify profiles. Social Catfish is a website that allows users to verify online identities(2). Tineye is also a powerful website that allows users to perform reverse image searches to verify where pictures came from(3). Both are valuable tools to verify an online dating profile.
Advise against sharing personal information or sending money. Taking a relationship slow is not only a good idea for online safety, it’s also a great idea for dating in general. Most scammers are impatient and will attempt to move fast in a relationship to get money faster.
Encourage skepticism and critical thinking. Approaching every possible partner with skepticism and critical thinking will make spotting red flags easier. However, a couple red flags does not automatically mean the other party is a scammer.
Suggest using reputable dating sites with security measures. Facebook has a huge user base and a small number of limitations on who can create an account. Dating apps like Hinge and Bumble have a photo verification system which makes it easier to spot catfishing profiles. They also actively remove any suspicious accounts and have a strong reporting system for scam-like activity.
Advise to talk to trusted friends and family about the relationship. Sometimes friends and family can give us unbiased advice about an online relationship. If you are having any suspicions, bring it to someone close to you for objective relationship advice.
Advise to be very wary of anyone who asks for money. Any request for money is strange when you’re online dating. It’s best to avoid sending money to anyone who you don’t know well to stay safe.
Be cautious when sending explicit media. Your explicit images and videos are extremely valuable. Sending them to the wrong person can put you in a terrifying situation. It’s best to avoid sending any explicit media to someone who you don’t trust fully to avoid possible extortion.

Do You Need Help?

Despite many people believing that they could never be a victim of dating fraud, romance scams are rising in number. Also, with the development of AI, the sophistication of the scams is increasing as well. You should always stay vigilant of online dating scams to protect yourself from becoming a victim.

If you are a victim of a romance scam, you are probably feeling a lot of emotions. It can bring on feelings of shame, isolation, guilt, and helplessness. However, there are people out there who help victims of romance scams. Our team of cybersecurity experts, for example, specialize in helping victims of online dating scams.

At Digital Investigation, fighting scammers is one of the things we do best. We use the latest technology to remove the perpetrator’s anonymity and track them down across the globe. If the situation escalates into extortion, our investigators can also work to remove the leverage the criminal has over you. No matter what your situation is with online dating scams, you are not alone and you do have options to fight back. Contact Digital Investigation today if you want to stand up against your scammer.

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